The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize