this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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