is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
