I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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