I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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