I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
