peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
