Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I want her autograph on my taint
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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