we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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