i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
