i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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