u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
