idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When are your genitals available?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
