I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
