I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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