I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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