you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Randomize
