but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
