oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
