Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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