I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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