Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
