Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
