I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize