idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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