u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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