Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
