I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
