ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
worst night to have a conscience
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
