Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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