im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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