just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
