I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
