My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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