you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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