My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
