I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize