had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize