He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
