Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
one might say we're banned from that church
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
