in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
