I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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