But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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