found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
