If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I faked an abortion last night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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