She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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