too bad you live with your parents still
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
