I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
