I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
