He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
