please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize