You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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