if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
