He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
