I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you made out with another girl for some wings
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