walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I forget how to act sober
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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