If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My ATM looks so different sober.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
