It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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