Where did you get a picture of my penis
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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