whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
