Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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