Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
