you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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