WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Where is the hickey?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
