rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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