i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
