when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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