She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
