wake up i wanna do it froggy style
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
